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Activity Forums Relationship Experiencing Reciprocity in Relationship as person with Highly Sensitivity

  • Experiencing Reciprocity in Relationship as person with Highly Sensitivity

    Posted by John on 04/19/2023 at 6:30 pm

    This is a discussion thread for this article: https://hspconnection.com/experiencing-love-reciprocity-in-relationships/

    Please read the article before commenting here. 🙂

    “As people with highly sensitive physiology, we have been given this gift at birth. For most of us, noticing and caring is not something we have to work at. What we long for however, is to have someone notice and care about us with the same skill and depth that we give to others.”

    As a person with HSP, have you experienced challenges in feeling “met” in relationship?

    Dedra replied 1 year, 1 month ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
  • 2 Replies
  • Linda

    04/20/2023 at 8:58 am

    Emotional accuracy is something that I have wondered about for a while – whether my intuition about a situation or person is accurate. In my work with a spiritual director, she gave me these ideas as a way to think about (or process deeply, as the case may be 🙂) an experience I had.

    She said that feeling people will sense the emotions in the room and sometimes be aware and track a particular person. Sometimes our antenna is out more than it needs to be. We really need to be aware and tell ourselves to stop if we are taking something too personally or if we are projecting our own feelings onto someone else. If there is a physical response in our body related to a situation, most likely we are being triggered from something in our past. If we get the body’s sensation of stress and a feeling that we need to do something about it, most likely it has been a trigger. At the time, we don’t need to know what it is from, just to be aware that it is happening and try to disengage from the stress with deep breaths. Think about relaxing into ourselves and our uniqueness and try to find acceptance for ourselves in what is happening. Later we can look more at what happened. What was/is the feeling – anger, disappointment, loss, abandonment, etc.? Then, what do I need from myself, the person, or the situation? We may not know right away but can think about it for a future interaction.

  • Dedra

    04/28/2023 at 3:21 pm

    I know that it is possible to be in fulfilling relationships with people who are not highly sensitive. But when you are an HSP and the other person is very much on the opposite side of the spectrum, you can work very hard to find a middle ground and find that the other person actually can’t, as you mentioned in the blog. I didn’t know about any of this until 2019, and the deep sadness and feeling of never really being seen, accepted or loved in the way I thought was possible became a deep wounding that led to the end of a life-long relationship. I have a few highly sensitive people in my life, thank goodness! But I would like to be in a partnership/romantic relationship with someone who is capable of self-reflection and wants to grow as a person. As you said in the blog, we don’t have to work to do these things, as they come naturally to us. I think that leaves us much more space and energy to focus on other parts of a relationship that are just normal difficulties in human interaction, creating a safe, fulfilling, and loving experience.

    As Linda said in her comment, we all have healing work to do on ourselves if we have triggers. That’s where our natural deep processing can help us overcome obstacles because we want/need to figure out what’s going on within ourselves and fix what we can. I’ve put so much time and energy into healing the causes of triggers and accepting my unique nature. Even if someone isn’t highly sensitive, but is capable of empathy and has the desire to learn about and appreciate the benefits of being with an HSP, I think it could be a good match. But to have someone truly understand you, as another HSP can do, could be the most amazing love relationship. I hope that is in my future! Thanks for the blog!

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